Big Chief Long Spear arrives at Sioux outpost with half a dozen braves......
He looks around suspiciously, walks in and approaches the unshaven, slovenly
sweaty trader behind the counter....

Chief: "Me want condom, you have?"

Trader: "We have 'em Chief, what size?

Chief: Slams his fist down on the counter "Horse big "

Trader: Looks under counter and pulls out extra extra large Durex
"Crikey That should do you Chief" (Trader is an Aussie).......

Chief: Hands over two deer skins "Uugh better be!"

A week later Chief arrives back with a dozen braves outside, looking really pissed off.....

Chief: "UUUh! You bad man, you give me bad condom, Bollocks go UUUUUUhh!
Condom go BANG!"

Trader: Thinking to himself, “What the hell do I do?” and remembers the old
dusty box at the bottom of the counter......
"Here Chief these are premium extra strong, extra long, on the house"

Chief: "UUUUgh!"

Two weeks later Chief comes back with 50 braves..... The trader is getting really worried....

Chief: "You speak with fork tongue!! Bollocks go UUUUuuh!
Condom go BANG!!"

Trader: Beginning to panic rushes out to the back yard and finds an old
bicycle tyre rubber inner tube, cuts out a large length and ties a
knot in end.... "Chief this will do it and a free bottle
of fire water thrown in"

The Chief partially placated rides off into the distance while the tender wiping the cold sweat of his brow breathes a sigh of relief....

Two days later there is a cloud of dust in the distance with the sound of thundering hooves.... The trader in blind panic, batons down the windows, hatches and doors.....
The door comes smashing down in a cloud of dust!! Blocking out the sunlight are two of the biggest bad ass warriors you would not ever wish to encounter!!
They make a parting and from behind appears the Chief, his feathers all bent over, his hair transformed white and his persona just a shadow of his former self.....

Chief: With a squeaky voice "You die white man"

Trader: By now shaking in fear and trepidation asks "Why?"

Chief: "Bollocks go UUUUUUUUUhhhh!! Condom go UUUUUUhhh

BOLLOCKS GO BANG!!"